Survival Strategies After Trauma: Rebuilding Safety and Strength
- Husain Vahanvaty
- 2 days ago
- 4 min read
When the Body Learns to Stay on Guard
When someone experiences trauma, the mind, body, and brain all work together to build a survival strategy to overcome the stress of the moment. During that experience, a person develops survival strategies: Automatic ways of thinking, behaving, and feeling designed to navigate danger and maintain control of their environment.
For example: A child who grew up in an unpredictable home might learn to stay quiet and agreeable to avoid further conflict.
Unfortunately, survival strategies can stay with us long after the threat has passed. In these cases, the body continues to scan for danger even when there is none to experience. These patterns can be automatic and pervasive—the body keeps anticipating harm, the mind remains alert, and emotions become tightly wound or shut down altogether.
For example: An adult who once had to grow up in an unpredictable home may find it difficult to relax, even in peaceful environments. They might struggle to rest, feel uneasy during calm moments, or experience guilt when things are going well—as if safety itself feels unfamiliar or undeserved.
Over time, these patterns become a person’s default mode of living; shaping relationships, decision-making, and self-perception. The individual may not even realize they are stuck in “survival mode,” because it has become familiar, even comfortable. Yet beneath that familiarity lies exhaustion, disconnection, and a longing for something more than just getting through the day.
Automatic behaviors like overthinking details, avoiding conflict, staying constantly busy, or shutting down allows the person to avoid pain and create a sense of safety. To an outside observer, this person may appear rigid or self-sabotaging, but inside this person is trying to feel safe in a world that still feels dangerous.
Signs You’re Still Living in Survival Mode
Survival mode can look different for everyone, but some common patterns include:
Feeling anxious or “on guard,” even when things are calm.
Needing control over every detail to feel safe.
Difficulty resting or relaxing—guilt when you slow down.
Emotional numbness or irritability.
A constant sense of emptiness or disconnection.
These signs suggest your nervous system still believes it's in danger.
How Trauma Shapes Belief Systems
These trauma patterns don’t just live in the body. Over time, trauma patterns shape our thoughts and what we believe about the world like: safety, trust, and control.
“I can’t trust anyone.”
“If I relax, something bad will happen.”
“I have to handle everything on my own.”
“My feelings aren’t important enough to share.”
At first, these beliefs are truths that protect you. But when survival becomes a way of life, beliefs harden into unconscious rules that govern choices long after the threat has passed.
If you recognize any of these beliefs and/or physical/emotional patterns, it may be a sign that your nervous system still feels unsafe.
At Marula Counselling in Coquitlam, BC, we remind clients:
“Strategies that helped you survive in the past may not be the same ones that help you heal in the present moment.”
Learning to understand and evolve these strategies is a critical part of trauma recovery.
From Surviving to Living: Building New Survival Strategies
1. Relearning What Safety Feels Like
Re-learning safety is a gradual process. It’s important to start somewhere and focus on what feels safe enough. Aiming for safety 'all the time' may become counter-intuitive and may not be possible for the body, right now. By developing behaviors, environments, or thoughts that feel safe enough, you can slowly train your nervous system to experience safety for extended periods of time. Try:
Placing a warm rag on the back of your neck and breathing out slowly.
Standing in surroundings you already associate with comfort—your bedroom or living room—and noticing colours, textures, temperature, or scent that feel soothing.
Moving rhythmically with both sides of your body (walking, cycling, tapping your knees, or gently squeezing your thighs).
These small practices help shift the body from hyper-vigilance to presence in the moment.
2. Redefining Control
In survival, control equals safety. In healing, choice equals safety. When you begin to practice choice and safety you also start to observe what you can and cannot control in your environment. This is a positive sign that healing has begun!
Write lists! One list for things you can influence, and one for things beyond your control.
Practice letting go of the small, uncontrollable details—like unanswered messages or unfinished tasks. This teaches the body that safety isn’t dependent on perfection.
3. Reconnecting With the Present Moment
Survival mode lives in the past and the future—constantly replaying danger or preparing for it. Healing invites the body into the present moment. Try sensory awareness:
Press your feet into the ground.
Place one hand on your stomach and one on your heart.
Notice, without judgment, your breath and how your body moves. Continue for 10–30 seconds.
By inviting the body to remain in the present, you aren’t denying trauma—you’re allowing safety and life to coexist in the present moment.
4. Giving Yourself Permission to Res
In survival mode, rest can feel unsafe. As if slowing down will cause everything to fall apart. But rest is not weakness; it’s regulation. Your body requires stillness to heal, integrate, and repair. Begin by:
Scheduling moments of rest by going for a short walk
Gentle stretching
Scheduling 'rest breaks' into your Google Calendar.
Over time, through gentle teaching, your body will learn that safety and stillness can coexist together.
Professional Support: Turning Survival Into Growth
Healing can, sometimes, requires professional guidance to ensure (re)-processing of trauma memories and patterns are adequately completed.
At Marula Counselling, we support clients across Coquitlam, Vancouver, and throughout British Columbia using:
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
Trauma-Focused CBT
Polyvagal- and somatic-informed therapy
Together, we identify survival responses, honor their original purpose, and help the body and mind build new pathways toward rest, resilience, connection, and growth.
Healing is about learning how to remain in the moment; not constantly preparing for danger.
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